Thankful Thursday #23

I missed my Monday Meditation. I have had a touch of a stomach bug this week. It has left me listless and lethargic. I don't know where the time has gone the last few evenings. Thankfully I am feeling better. I am still pretty tired but I am able to eat a little more the last day or so.

It has been a pretty uneventful week. Last Saturday, I had a good time just laying on a raft in the pool. I got a bit of sun.

My lawn mower was repaired and the rain held off long enough for me to mow my front yeard and most of the dogs's yard. Maybe I will be able to get some more yardwork done this weekend. Now that my front lawn looks nice I want to the rest of it to look nice too.

Thankful Thursday #22

Wow. It has already been a week. It seems to have flown by, I guess a stressful week can do that.

Last weekend was a 3 day weekend for Memorial Day. I am thankful to all the men and women who have willinging laid down their lives for my freedom.

I had a great day last Sunday. A friend and I went to see a movie - Alice in Wonderland (it was ok. I'm not a big Tim Burton fan) and then she treated be to dinner at a local Italian restaurant. The tortelinni and grilled chicken sausage was wonderful. YUM. I want some more NOW. And then we went downtown for frozen yogurt and people watching.

After my mini-break down on Monday (at least it was a good cry), the week was kind of up and down. I think the storm has passed. I sure hope so any ways.

I am so glad that I have gotten back into the pool. It is an hour where I can let go of all the stress and just focus on the stroke. I am physically tired after my workouts, which is nice compared to the emotional weariness I have been experiencing lately.

Tonight I swam extra hard (by the time I got out of the pool I didn't think my arms were attached to my body anymore), but I knew it was bath night. I soaked for 45 minutes in a tub of hot water and espom salt. It was lovely. I made it a little more special by munching on havarti cheese and wheat thins. I also watched a bit of mindless television while I lounged.

Now I am throughly relaxed and ready for bed. Thankfully tomorrow is Friday.

Thankful Thursday #21

I am struggling with not letting the bad of the week overshadow the good. So this is short.

I had an absolute wonderful massage on Tuesday. I wish I could feel like that every day.

My swimming workout is going well and I am sleeping better.

This week has gone quickly. It's been productive.

Thankful Thursday #20

It has been a pretty good week. I went to 2 movies this week. I had girls' night with my niece. It was the last week of school for my niece and nephew so now there will be more time just for fun aunt stuff. I did my swimming workout for the second week. I felt great afterwards. My niece and nephew had their spring sing at church. It is always fun watching the little kids perform.

Thankful Thursday #19

Last weekend was Mother's Day. It was a great weekend hanging out with my Mom. I was the good daughter - I made dinner and I even remembered a present.

I took my dogs to my parents' house last Saturday to start working on introducing my dogs to their dogs. Hopefully, when I go to Europe this summer my puppies will be able to stay with Mom and Dad. It would save me so much money if I didn't have to board them. Also I don't think my dogs will feel as abandoned.

Monday, I started a new swimming workout. It was fabulous. I found a website that will tailor programs to my skill and activity level. I have a little trouble pacing myself because I still think I can swim like I did 20 years ago when I competed. One day I might be able to, but not the first day back in the pool after a 5 year absence. I slept beautifully Monday night. I only woke up a little stiff and only really my arms bothered me.

Thankful Thursday #18

It has been another great week. I think I mentioned that I am trying to start a side business. I had my first client and a lot of hits on that blog. Hopefully more people will contact me about the services I am offering.

I went to a comedy show tonight. It was hilarious. I was really happy that a couple of friends were able to come with me.

I finally went to the gym and signed up. It is a cheap membership and I should have done it a long time ago. I am going to try to get back into swimming.

Thankful Thursday #17

So I forgot to post last night. After I took my bubble bath, I drifted through the rest of the evening until I slipped into a peaceful slumber. So no bad reason for not posting. It has actually been a great week. Work went quickly. I had a lovely time with dinner and a movie with my niece and nephew Tuesday. Thursday was my Friday (which might add to the reason I forgot to post). I had a wonderful walk at the park after work where I did express gratitude to God for His beautiful creation. It was a good week, a short week, and now on to the weekend!

Thankful Thursday #16

Those who read my blog regularly may have noticed I did not do my Meditative Monday blog. The reason: I did not meditate on Monday. I was sick this week. I am thankful that I serve a God who is more concerned with my heart's condition than the routine acts. Though I did not formally meditate I did  have opportunities during my convalescences to think about who God is. I experienced God this week through the rest He provided, the calmness and peace He bestowed upon my during my minor illness. Though I was unable to keep the appointment God still met me,

This past weekend I went up to my alma mater and met up with my college buddies. Some of them I have not seen since graduation. It was a great time just to enjoy each others company once again and catch up with what has happened in each others lives the last 10 years.

I am trying to start a side business of sorts. Right now all it is is me writing a blog, but I have already made a little bit of money from the ad revenue and traffic to the site is picking up. I have some really great ideas that I hope come to fruition. It called Opportunity's Knocking; it's a career planning resource

Thankful Thursday #15

It has been a good week. Last Friday night I enjoyed hanging out with my church family. I got to play Pay Day (I haven't played that since I was a child) and talk to some people that I don't often get the chance to.

On Saturday, I took the dogs to one of my favorite nature trails. It was beautiful and the perfect weather - not too hot, but not too chilly either. The pollen was still down from the rain a few days prior. A friend came a long with me and was able to snap a few pictures of my pups. Charlie is terrified of the camera so I was hoping that being in an open space would help.

The work week has been good. I have been able to get some papers off my desk so things are becoming more organized. That's a good thing. When my desk is disorganized my life feels disorganized.

Tuesday was a long day. I was exhausted from not having slept well and just had a case of the blahs. I came home and decided to go down to the local park to walk the dogs. It was peaceful and a great way to decompress. Though sounds of little league games, family cheers, and chirping birds mixed together to provide the perfect atmosphere. The walking trail at the park is a pretty one. It was God's way of giving me comfort during a down kind of day. I thank Him for the wonderful gift.

Thankful Thursday #14

I had a great Easter weekend.

On Friday night, my niece and I had a girls night out. We had pedicures done so out toes would be pretty for Sunday. We also had dinner out and did a little shopping. I bought a new pair of shoes that I absolutely love (which is saying a lot because I hate shoe shopping). Then we game home and watched a movie.

On Saturday, I went with my sister and the kids to an Easter egg hunt and picnic. The weather was absolutely beautiful. So when I got home I laid out on my back deck to get some sun and just enjoy the day.

On Sunday, I attended a wonderful worship service with almost my whole family. My nephew was baptized and then we all headed to Mom and Dad's for lunch. Later that evening when I was at home I again sat on my back deck. The weather was just perfect the sun was starting to go down and there was a gentle breeze. The pollen had made my eyes gunky so I closed them to just enjoy the sounds and feel of nature and peacefully slumbered for about 30 minutes.

The work week has gone pretty well. I am finally able to see parts of desk as a unearth it from the piles of paperwork that has been accumulating.

Today we had a nice rain. The pollen has been horrendous. I keep my windows open and I have a nice film of yellow pollen on most surfaces. But the rain today has clear the air and everything outside looks clean (now if I could only hose down the inside of my house).

Thankful Thursday #13

This has been such an up and down week. I have been emotional (probably hormonal), but still there have been good things.

Friday afternoon and Saturday was spent at a Ladies Retreat in the mountians. It was beautiful and warm enough to enjoy the surrounding nature.

I have been having trouble staying asleep the last 3 weeks maybe but the last two nights I have slept through the night. I have stayed up a little later, but I am enjoying the uninterrupted sleep. Hopefully soon I will be back to a full 8 hours sleep.

The weather has been absolutely beautiful. I love the temps being in the 80s.

I did some retail therapy today at my favorite store. The good cry I had the other night help release some of the tension I have been feeling but the shopping but a spring back into my step.

Thankful Thursday #12

It is very difficult to write this blog tonight. There was an incident last night that quickly sent me into the beginnings of my depression. I have tried to fight against all day and a busy day at work helped, but late afternoon was difficult.

I am thankful for some great people that I have met in a chatroom. After the incident happened last night I just wanted to talk to my chat friends. They make me smile. And they did try to raise my spirits one person even got me to smile.

I am thankful for comfort food. When I left work today I so needed a soda. So I had a frozen pizza and a cherry Dr. Pepper. It made me feel better.

I am thankful that I have been really trying to get my house in order. I am not done spring cleaning I have 2 rooms left but my house is so much tidier than it has been. I was able to use 3 evenings this week to get the house tidied up for a friend who is coming over. I am thankful that God gave me a plan on Monday on how to go about accomplishing the cleaning chores I needed to get done before Friday.

Thankful Thursday #11

I have been quite the social butterfly this week. The family celebrated my Dad's birthday on Monday. It was the first chance we had since it snowed on his actually birthday. It was a great time just hanging out with the family at one of our favorite restaurants. My niece is so sweet. We ordered a 3 dip appetizer, but she knows that her brother doesn't really like any of the dips so she asked if we could also get his favorite cheese dip.

On Tuesday, I had my haircut. I have been growing it out for 3 years so I could donate it. I grew it longer than I have ever had it. I have donated it one time before and I decided it need to be longer this time so it wouldn't be so short. I absolutely love my new hair. I have also had a bunch of complements which just makes me feel good.

Wednesday is church night. We had a family style meeting after supper to discuss priorities in the church. We are developing our 5 - 10 year strategic plan. It was a good time with lots of great suggestions made.

Tonight I went for coffee with a friend (I don't actually drink coffee, but it seems hot chocolate at at coffee house always taste better than what I make at home) and we discussed starting a new Sunday school class at our church. It is a burden I have had for a number of years and it finally seems to be the right time to launch it.

The weather is gorgeous and it was only about 1 mile to the coffee shop so I walked from work. I used the time to talk to God and reflect on the things He has been teaching me. I think for the first time in my life I am truly seeing the transforming power of God. Sure I have felt His presence in my life and seen Him work in situations I have faced, but to actually see my life changing (might not be the words I am looking for) is possibly a first. I feel so close to Him. I am not good at putting my emotions into words. I have read several blogs that describe what I am feeling when the person is talking about their relationship with their husband. And I was thinking during my walk, their relationship is temporary. Death will eventually separate them. But the relationship I have with God will only become more perfect once I leave this world and I couldn't help but smile and rejoice a little at that thought.

Thankful Thursday #10

Spring has seemed to have arrived this week in my part of the world. We had a glorious weekend. I was able to get some much needed yard work done and enjoy copious amounts of sunshine. Even the rain we have had the last two days hasn't been too bad.

I was able to go on a long, relaxing walk with my dogs on Tuesday because it was just the right temperature and it isn't getting dark so early.

I have never been more grateful for the saving grace of Jesus and the loving God I serve. A friend today shared a struggle she has with me. If I was not a Christian, following Jesus, I could see myself in her situation. Thank you Jesus for saving me at such a young age. I have no idea what to say to her as I am not completely sure of her religious views. I am not sure the words of comfort that I would speak would be understood or appreciated by her. Thank you God for the love and comfort you provide when I face trials and tribulations.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Psalm 23

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters,

He restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness

for His name's sake.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil,

for You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

in the presences of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

It is starting to look and feel like spring. This is a time of new life and hope, but for me it is often the time my depression hits the hardest. Why? Maybe because I see all the new life and realize that I am still in the same place as always. It is also the time when my heart was broken; my shame revealed.

I have been reflecting some this past week on why I fall to depression so much during this time of renewal. This was about the time last year that began my walk through a dark valley in my life. I have been reminded of this Psalm during this week of reflection. At first I was like "What God? This is a Psalm for funerals." I am most familiar with Psalm 23:4 being worded "though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death." And this is the Psalm that is read at most funerals. However this week when I have thought about this verse it has been the valley of darkness. I thought whatever it's just my translation. But tonight when I looked up Psalm 23 there is a footnote that says that it can be translated the darkest valley. I refer to my depression last year as a time of darkness. And though I did not always feel God's presence I know He was there.

Today I was ... at peace. It is a strange feeling. Today is a furlough day for me so I was not paid for today. Typically, I should be worrying about not having that day's pay, particulary since my savings account has dipped below what I am comfortable with it having.  Or maybe angry because I am paid from a different source of funds which had money available to pay me. But it didn't really cross my mind. This is my 5th furlough day in the fiscal year and so far I have been able to cover my bills without any problems. I haven't really noticed the missing money.

I shouldn't have been at peace today. It was a beautiful day and I spent most of it doing yard work. Typically I become upset, discontent, even overwhelmed when doing yard work. My yard needs a lot of work. I grudgingly do it usually grumbling about wishing I had a husband to help me or anyone to help me for that matter; it's just too much for one person. But today I didn't. I had the fleeting thought when I thought about how I hadn't thought that today.

Instead, today I wanted to praise my God. I wanted to worship Him. I wanted to adore Him. I wanted to sit in His presence and just be. No words needed to be exchanged; I just wanted to sit at His feet, maybe rest my head upon His knee and enjoy being in His presence.

Since I have apparently graduated to meditating on whole passages I increased my meditation time to 20 minutes. I started out with the beginning of the passage because today while outside that is what I was thinking about. I felt cared for, provided for. Then I felt the need to just say thank you over and over. Finally I started thanking God for the various verses from this passage I could remember.

Thank you for being my Shepherd so that I do not want.

Thank you for the green pastures to lie in.

Thank you for the calm waters.

Thank you, even though I have walked through the dark valley, I did not need to fear.

Thank you for the comfort of Your rod and staff.

Thank you for preparing me a table.

Thank you for the goodness and love in my life.

Thank you that I will dwell in Your house forever.

Thankful Thursday #9

I am a bit under the weather tonight so I am so very thankful that tomorrow is Friday. I only have to make it through tomorrow which might be a bit stressful as we have a grant proposal going out the door, but we are also hosting the department's monthly gathering so it will be nice to be able to knock off work a little early.

Last week was the last of the Upward games. My girls did so well with their dance routine. They all hit it!

I went to the annual library book sale. I found some rather old books (published in the 1930s). I wasn't familar with the titles or the authors but they still looked cool. One day when I have my home library I will have some really old books on the shelf.

It seems like something really great happened earlier in the week, but now I can't remember. Right now the whole week is kind of fuzzy. Maybe when I am feeling better I will remember and I can come back to add it.

Thankful Thursday #8

In last week's post I was thankful for the snowstorm we had and this week I am thankful for the sunny 60 degree days we had over the weekend. Only in the south can you see that great a change in the weather between days. The weekend was beautiful. After the Upward game I came home and spent 2 hours working in the yard, picking up limbs from the snowstorm and trimming a holly bush (those things are prickly).

Speaking of Upward, my cheerleading squad had its last practice tonight. I think the girls had a lot of fun this season; I know I did. We have our last game on Saturday and we will be doing the pom pom routine at halftime. We have worked on this routine all season.

Upward has given me an opportunity to invite my coworkers to a church activity. I have been talking all season about my 6 and 7 year old girls and how we are going to do the pom pom routine this week. At least 3 of my coworkers have agreed to come to the game. It is exciting and gives me warm fuzzies knowing that they normally wouldn't come to a church event but will come in support of me.

Thankful Thursday #7

I have decided I really like taking baths. I wish I had a bigger bath tub, but overall it is nice just to soak in the hot water with my vanilla scented candle burning and think of nothing for 30 minutes or more. I know that it isn't the most water saving activity, so I only have a bath once a week or so (it really ruins the relaxation to feel guilty about wasting water).

We had a nice little snow storm last weekend. We usually get icy snow, but last week it was all powdery and soft. I didn't get any pictures because I didn't have a camera, but the dogs and I went for a fun walk in the snow.

Each week on Facebook I announce it is Thankful Thursday and my friends comment on what they are thankful for. Well today I forgot that it was Thursday and was distracted by other things at work so I was late in posting it. A couple of people expressed concern when they didn't see it up and it is nice to know that there are people paying attention and caring.

Thankful Thursday #6

I am once again healthy; the head cold from last week is all gone. On Sunday I heard the sweetest sound, my 7 years old niece was singing along with the praise songs at church. Her reading skills have really improved this year and she is becoming more familar with the songs. She is a really good singer too.

Thankful Thursday #5

I'm staying home today because I am sick so I thought I would write early today in case later I feel worse.

I am thankful that I have sick days where when I feel icky I can stay home but not worry about losing my job or not getting paid.

I am thankful that I am healthy. Though I feel miserable right now I know that there are a ton of diseases out there that would be a whole lot worse than this sickness.

I am thankful that I have access to healthcare providers. If I later I decide I need to go to the doctor I can call and will get in today. And because am blessed with health insurance it won't cost me an arm and a leg.