Who am I?

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made... Psalm 139:13-14.

Who did God make me to be? I am who He created? I don't know. I have never really struggled with God's will for my life. I have always had the attitude: If this isn't the path you want me on for my life then close the door. As long as the door remained opened I continued the path.

I am still struggling with what to do about my Ph.D. Do I finish it? Do I not? Is that door still opened? If not, is it locked or can I reopen it? I don't know what to do.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16

I want God to let me know what is the plan for me. I know I should be content with just knowing what the next step is, but right now I don't know if I even know what the next step is. I am confused; I don't know what to think any more. I feel God has gone mute on this point. I have been rehashing it for several weeks. Am I rationalizing, trying to say God doesn't want me to continue out of fear? Or is this something that I need to let go of and forget about? What did God foresee happening in my life when he looked upon my unformed body?